A STRANGE CONVERSATION AND UNEXPECTED OUTCOME
One day, I had to accompany my mother’s friend on an errand. I was only 22 and just starting my professional career. Along the way, she took the liberty of asking me a very personal question. When did I intend to get married? Fortunately, I had already thought about this subject several times, and confirmed 27–28, and by 30 I will have 2 kids. Then, later on, I wish to have a 3rd child, if my prospective wife agrees.
She surprised me by asking why! I explained that I had to establish my career securely and save money to face the responsibilities of my future family and offer them a secure life. She disagreed with me over this point explaining that if it were because of security and the financial aspect, that should not be a precursor for marriage. On the contrary, if I marry, I will have more focus and ambition, and together with my prospective wife, we will build a more solid future for our family. In fact, the bond created will secure our marriage which in turn will secure our family bond.
Barely a year and a half later there was political turmoil, instability, and financial collapse. For the next 3 years, I had to move across 3 countries to start my professional life all over again. This time as an employee in a totally different field of business I excelled in after 2 years. Then I had to legally confront my maternal uncle for having scammed and robbed me of my transport business through forgery at 28. The legal battle disrupted my professional and personal life for the next 5 years. By the end of it, I was 32.
In the interim, my brother solicited joining me in partnership with a new commercial business I was launching. Unbeknown to me, he was preparing his materializing his plot to swindle me of my capital, and my share in the business through forgery. When I was traveling to our office in Brazil, he progressively took possession of my home and my belongings, my car, illegally selling my long-haul trucks, and forging my signature to obtain loans from 12–14 different banks. When I returned to address the legal summons I was receiving through the creditor banks, it was the first blow I discovered. When his family discovered that I had copies of his forgeries in my hands and I was ready to take him to court, the entire family pounced on me to resolve the situation. It was all emotional influence and none of the talk of settlements was ever resolved. I had to restart all over again singlehandedly. By then, I was 43.
I am not crying over spilled milk. I am reverting to my original plan of getting married at 27–28, and until 43, I was not yet married. This brings me back to the point in my previous article “A HAUNTING CONVERSATION”, referring to my cultural adage, “The wind never blows in the direction the sails intend to go”.
In addition, I wish to add another cultural adage, “Goodwill is a lack of an alert will”. True, no stranger could have possibly swindled me since I was business savvy and alert — except those closest to me, not only because of my goodwill but also because of my good intentions towards them.
Sammy RNAJ
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