THE SECRET STYLE OF SEDUCTION
You cannot afford to lose at seduction. You will certainly feel bad after your attempt and your mind will race into a spiral analyzing the whys and wherefores. Therefore, give it some reasonable thought before making your move. Ideally, just be cordial and friendly, revving up your game one notch at a time. Sort of moving in tandem with the person of your interest.
Seduction is an art and requires style to become an original masterpiece. However, unlike art, all the primitive senses come into full play depending on the intensity of your interest and emotions, and you have to be mindful of them. Perhaps, they already form part of your swag. I shall list them out below for a quick read, and to enable you to use them as your checklist, targeting the way you are perceived at an event or a gathering.
These points send subconscious signals that send indirect messages, and they eventually form part of the impression or impact you leave after your encounter. Undoubtedly, they either appeal to the subject’s fantasies or place your credibility in doubt.
To start with, everyone anticipates meeting the “perfect” match, today commonly referred to as one’s “soulmate”. Therefore, be honest with yourself and your subject before going too far. It is always safer not to rush into an affair, or anticipate too much too quickly. I speak through my track record.
How well do you know yourself? How are you perceived by your close friends, be they men or women? Find out because it is important you know your strengths and weaknesses before making a move. Capitalize on your qualities, and poke fun at your frailties. It is the safest way forward.
Looks: Are you appealing, unappealing, or just another Joe? Whatever you are, the following points can be valorized. Are you terse and tense at social gatherings or simply relaxed? It shows in your darting or focused eyes, the corner of your lips, facial expressions, and particularly your body language, folded arms, taut fists, etc. Your posture is striking the first impression. Keep your back upright but relaxed, by focusing on your breathing which will reduce your heartbeat if you are nervous. Or simply grab a drink to warm you up.
Appearance: Are you elegant and flashy, modestly elegant, or a sloppy Joe? Keep it simple, by taking advice and wearing what makes you feel comfortable. Do you wear what compliments your physical structure, or do you blindly follow the latest trends, or do you not care in the least? You can research that over the internet and keep away from the latest trends. Choose what makes you feel comfortable with yourself. That is your signature. How tasteful are you in mixing and matching colors? Choose your favorite color. Move from a dark to a lighter tone. If there is anything sharply contrasting, ensure it is not flagrant but subdued, like a T-shirt under your shirt, a pair of socks, or a quality accessory.
Movement: Are your movements slow, fast, or clumsy? Maintain them in a relaxed, determined, and confident manner. Do you navigate through a crowd confidently, comically, or clumsily? Keep clumsy out. Comically adds a little humor which is healthy and breaks the ice.
Touch: Do you have cold, sweaty, or warm palms? Ensure they’re warm and dry by discreetly holding onto a handkerchief in your pocket before shaking hands. Use your arms up close, but not intrusive or touching your subject expressing interest while reducing the distance to build rapprochement. Position yourself directly in front of the person.
Smell: If the smell is good, the taste should be better. Better not use any perfume if it is going to be a cheap one! Ideally, use an expensive one. The scent will become synonymous with you. It lingers after you’re gone. Ideally, dilute it by wetting your palms with a few droplets of water, or to be overbearing. You don’t want to be imposing. An overstatement demonstrates a lack of self-confidence. Your perfume must leave a whiff of mystique in the air to be remembered.
Disposition: What is your personality like, your temperament and disposition? Are you gentle, crude, suave, or refined? Whatever it is, underplay it not to be interpreted negatively as haughty, weak, vulgar, or snobbish. You just want to be friendly. Are you charismatic, timid, or confident? Conceal the timidity through interesting discussions, and when you have nothing to say, show an interest in your subject by asking questions.
Eyes: Those eyes are the biggest and most intriguing players. Keep them focused on your interest and remain engaging. They demonstrate your undivided intention. If they’re fleeting, they demonstrate shyness or lack of interest. You’re a rock.
Smile: that provides warmth to your eyes even if your eyelashes are fair. That squint adds some sparkle. A quick wink when laughing is a tricky flirt. It all adds to your charm and uniqueness. Don’t laugh too much, it looks silly. Most subjects gravitate towards the strong and silent type.
Speech and Substance: What comes out of your mouth makes or breaks everything. It has to complement all your moves and top them with intelligence and wit. The following Oriental proverbs, speak for themselves:
“The tongue is one half of a man… (they never mention what the other half is!)
“Words are the music of the heart”. See? You can create your own music.
“The most used muscle in the body is the tongue”- this is scientifically proven.
To ensure that you know how to use speech effectively, both its sound and content are important. Maintain a steady and audible voice that projects. The pace of your speech demonstrates whether you are nervous, or cool, calm, and collected. If you have a high-pitched, thin-timbered voice, get closer to maintaining it low and consistent.
Content is more than a pick-up line. It requires substance, capable of carrying an intelligent conversation and imparting some knowledge. The pick-up line is individual, but you will not want to use it on everyone, you could become the party joke. It is best when it is sincere, creative, and original. Humphrey Bogart is a classic, “What is a beautiful girl like you doing in a place like this?”
To build a connection, one requires color and contrast. You can start by asking discreet questions, leading to an intelligent conversation of common interest. When running out of conversation, you may flirt by interjecting with genuine compliments, but not exaggerated flattery. Teasing is a clever tactic that builds proximity and humor. It’s a pun to carry forward in conversations online or every time you meet. Who doesn’t love a little humor? Perhaps a pun every now and then. Jokes are more tasteful when they are limited and their content is general. Beware of attempting to cold-read a person. You could shoot yourself in the foot and fail miserably!
When leaving, try labeling yourself or the occasion with a subject. It will be a reference in follow-up communication or even become a healthy recollection.
Do not ask for the person’s contacts to find out whether the interest was reciprocal. In the affirmative, he/she will eventually find a way to contact you. Then, bingo!
If you want to build intimacy beyond connection, you may extend the invitation to leave the social gathering for somewhere “quieter”, but not “quiet”, to avoid being obvious.
You’ll gradually become an artist with words, or in today’s jargon, a wordsmith.
Speech is indeed a colorful part of communication. But substance is more vibrant and it is the secret to leaving a lasting impact. A silent echo, when you are gone. Mark your footprint with your own particular style highlighting your good traits.
I know people who make it a point to be in a constant state of seduction at every social gathering. They may be experts with their individual approaches, but rest assured, there are enough offenses and deceptions around to create foul smog.
The Secret Style of Seduction is a lovely dance through which you create your own music, Maestro! Please make it original to treasure the moment. You can create a better rhapsody than most.
As you can well see, everything comes into play. But remember not to overdo any of the above. Be your genuine self to be consistent. Whenever the clothes are dropped, if you are wearing any mask, they will have to drop also, and that will be very disappointing both ways. Be genuine and honest.
To conclude, you would have succeeded to seduce both physically and intellectually, enough to leave a lasting impression.
Sammy RNAJ — sammy.rnaj.writer@gmail.com
